


Fill My Lungs With Lies Of Hope

by intrvrtd



Series: Whatever Is Left Of Me, I Give To You [1]
Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Love Confessions, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:48:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29522490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intrvrtd/pseuds/intrvrtd
Summary: Jack finds herself on a Cerberus ship on an insane mission to save the galaxy, when she first meets Shepard she thinks he is a typical boy scout, looking to march into the darkness to save the girl. But the more time she spends with him she realizes that Commander John Shepard was already in the darkness long before she met him. Over the course of their adventure they find their way out together
Relationships: Jack | Subject Zero/Male Shepard
Series: Whatever Is Left Of Me, I Give To You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2182776
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Fill My Lungs With Lies Of Hope

Jack made her way past engineering looking for a secluded place to hide out on the ship. She found herself wondering “what the fuck was she thinking?”, she should have fucking known better, every instinct she had told her to kill those fuckers when they crossed her path on Purgatory. The prison ship was fucked and it was only a matter of time before the Blue Suns called in reinforcements to subdue the prisoners on the ship, she didn’t want to stick around for that shit. Jack was pretty sure she made the better choice out of two shit choices, “Goddamnit” Jack cursed, for the second time in her life she escaped a prison and found herself jumping on the first ship she came across, this first time it was some pirates that used her and threw her away, this time a Cerberus ship. In the end she only agreed to tag along since the guy in charge agreed to her request for full access to Cerberus files, the bastards who made her into what she was, this was her one chance to get some real answers about her past, she couldn’t pass that up. To her surprise Shepard agreed to her request instantly, almost too quickly for her liking, but it pissed off that Cerberus bitch to no end, that alone made it worth it.

Jack finally found what she was looking for, she made her way down to the small section under engineering it was a single compartment with only one way in so nobody would sneak up on her. Not long after that Shepard made his way down with a datapad that had access to all the Cerberus data she wanted, she was a little surprised, she wasn’t even sure he’d hold up his end of the deal, especially not do it this quickly.

Shepard stopped at the top of the stairs, as if he is were giving her privacy or some weird shit and called out “Hey Jack I have the data you wanted, and if what you’re looking for isn’t in there let me know, I have a friend on Illium who is an information broker, she may be able to find more” he stated

_What the fuck was this asshole playing at? Hmmm the nice guy routine, ok I’ve seen this shit before, the nice guy thing is always a fucking act, nobody offers kindness for nothing, FUCK HIM, I ALREADY HATE HIM_

“This should be more than enough” Jack coldly replied with her eyes watching his every move, her biotics ready to flair at the first sign that he was going to make a move. She had seen him fighting on the prison ship, Shepard was a biotic too but she was confident she could take him if she had to, she had never come across a human who could match her biotic skills… “Fucking Cerberus” she muttered in her head. 

“Oh yeah almost forgot here’s an energy drink and protein bar, I saw you on the ship, your biotics were impressive. Honestly you fought like a damn krogan just like me, charging in head first with your biotics while wielding a shotgun” he chuckled and let slip a goofy little grin and set down the energy drink and protein bar on the table next to her

Jack stayed silent, continuing to watch his every move.

“Well keep me posted, if you find whatever it is you looking for or if you need anything else just ping me on my omni-tool” Shepard continued “usually the crew has to go through XO Lawson for any requests but I think it might be in everyone’s best interest to keep the two of you apart”

“Listen Shepard you’re in command so I get it, you go where you want but you should keep everyone else away from me, not just Lawson. Also the cheerleader briefed me on the mission, the Collectors are taking entire colonies and as nuts as it sounds we’re supposed to stop ‘em, I’m here cause you want me to kill for you so don’t act like we’re friends” she nearly growled

“Sure Jack if that’s what you need” he said dryly

As Shepard turned around to leave the pit that Jack was now calling home, she noticed that unlike the rest of the crew he wasn’t wearing a Cerberus uniform and he also seemed to have no love for that fucking cheerleader either, it probably didn’t mean anything since this was still a Cerberus ship but it was still worth keeping a mental note of. She was finally alone it was dark and quiet, and she had some information to comb through.

Pouring through the data she finally figured out why he seemed so familiar, he was the same Shepard who saved the citadel and was the first human spectre, she remembered watching news reports about him two years ago while she was on Omega. This was a strange revelation since it was pretty common knowledge that Shepard died two years ago, but here he was commanding a Cerberus ship.

_This shit keeps getting weirder, I’ll ask Mr. nice guy about it the next time he comes down here_

Shepard fell onto the bed in his cabin, he was beginning to doubt if bringing Jack along for the mission was smart, her rage was uncontrolled and it was completely dangerous but he also had to acknowledge that Jack’s biotics could match any asari. Shepard decided Jack was definitely worth the trouble and he already figured out some common ground for them, a mutual distrust and hatred of Cerberus “it’s a starting point" he thought to himself. After a couple more conversations down in the pit he finally broke down and told her about how Cerberus kept in him in a medically induced coma for two years while they re-built him and how before Cerberus got their hands on him he wasn’t a biotic but now he was. Shepard hadn’t even talked to Garrus about this but here he was telling Jack about it, he found himself wondering why. After Jack told him about the experiments Cerberus put her through as a child they both sickenly realized that those experiments could be related which only made Shepard more uncomfortable with his newfound biotic abilities. Jack felt some of her initial hostility towards the commander dissipate and he peaked her interest even further when he told her to be ready for when Cerberus betrays them, and that they may have to take out Miranda and Jacob.

_Don’t need to tell me twice I’d love for that fucking cheerleader to make a move, and for the first time when she looked at Shepard she felt a small connection to him, she saw another monster created by Cerberus, another reason to tear those fuckers apart, as if she even needed another reason_

Weeks passed and Shepard kept coming down to the pit to talk to her, even though she made every conversation as difficult as possible. Nobody wants to hear my life story, I’m here to kill, he should just let me do it, I don’t need his friendship or even worse his pity.

_Fucking soldier boy can’t seem to take a hint, I don’t need him to act like he gives a shit about me_

He acted like such a fucking boy scout most of the time but that was an act, at least partially, he had a ruthless edge. Jack remembered while they were on Illium he threw an eclipse merc off the roof of a skyscraper just because the merc gave him a smartass answer.

_fuck that made me wet_

Jack was laying in her cot and since she still had access to the Cerberus database she decided to look up everything they had on Shepard, he was quickly becoming an annoying mystery that she had to figure out. She went through all the typical bullshit that you find, first human spectre, savior of the citadel, all the shit that’s plastered all over the extranet. As she dug deeper she finally found what she was looking for, the first thing that stuck out was a Citadel News Net picture of survivors of Mindoir, the colony was raided by batarian slavers in 2170 and something in the picture caught her eye

_It was Shepard, he was young but it was clearly him, he must have been fourteen or fifteen and he was covered in blood it was **very** dark red so dark it was nearly black it was clearly batarian blood and he had a hollow empty look in his eyes, almost like he wasn’t even there _

Jack’s mind was yanked back to the Cerberus facility where she was raised and she thought of the makeshift ring where she would fight other kids, to be more precise where she killed other kids, they didn’t stand a chance against her. Many times after those fights she would be back in her room with her face pressed up against the glass and she could see her own dead empty eyes staring back at her, the same eyes that she saw in Shepard in that picture. She scrolled through the datapad and saw another point of interest, Akuze, an entire marine unit wiped out in a matter of minutes by multiple thresher maws, with the exception of one marine who lived to tell the tale, a picture accompanied the article.

_This picture contained Shepard, surrounded my several old men in blue alliance uniforms and one of them was pinning a medal to his chest, but that wasn’t really what caught my eye, he had that same broken and cold look it in eyes, no sadness just a dull rage._

After getting this info Jack rolled over in her cot and pondered all her newfound information about the boy scout, he knew loss, he knew pain, he knew rage, he knew hate, and worst of all she knew that he likely knew what it was like to no longer feel anything, just like her.

_I suppose this was why he never showed me any pity, he knew all too well that would be the last thing anyone who went through shit like that would want._

Jack was tired of thinking about him and she was frustrated that she found herself no longer hating him, she still didn’t like him, but the hate was gone, she struggled to remember the last time she didn’t hate someone…

_Murtock... he wasn’t that different from everyone else, he used me no doubt about it, he fucked me the first chance he got, their whole thing was sex, biotics, and killing with a dash a hallex to keep it all interesting. He never acted like he gave a shit about me while he was alive, but after he died he left me a message with a bunch of empty promises, ASSHOLE_

In her frustration she went back to the data and she found what she was looking for, the Teltin facility on Pragia, her prison for so many years.

_Need to blow that place to hell, next time Shepard comes down here I’ll tell him all about it. After all I’ve learned about him from these files I know he’ll understand_

The shuttle ride down to the surface on Pragia was silent, Shepard knew Jack probably had a million thoughts racing through her head and he knew that now wouldn’t be the time to press her to talk. Grunt was actually the first to break the silence

“This facility is abandoned, there will likely be no one in there to kill, why did you ask for me to accompany you on this mission” Grunt asked

Shepard shrugged his soldiers “I figured out of everyone you would just shut up and go with it”

“Understood battlemaster” Grunt went back to working on his shotgun

Shepard listened to her story patiently while Grunt scouted ahead. As they walked through the facility he realized Jack’s past might have been worse than he imagined, he found himself thinking “I should have brought Miranda along for this, it may have done her some good to see what Cerberus was actually all about.” He looked back at Jack and he saw the blue aura of her biotics flaring and her fists were closed so tightly her knuckles were turning white, “on second thought nah” he muttered. Deeper in the facility they encountered a large room and saw a bunch a barricades placed to make a circle in the center of the room. Jack explained that this was where they would inject her with drugs and pit her against other children in the facility.

“I loved those fights, it was the only time they let me out of my cell” Jack stated without emotion

Shepard knew she was lying, she may have enjoyed the adrenaline high but not the actual killing, he had come to know Jack fairly well over the last few months, he saw the terror and regret in her eyes while she talked, but he knew that now wasn’t the time to push her. They went deeper into the facility, Shepard largely stayed quiet letting Jack talk and work her way through her past but he always stayed close in an attempt to let her know that she wasn’t alone, not anymore. When they reached the back of the facility they came across some Blood Pack mercs and an unstable man and former prisoner of Teltin named Aresh who planned to continue the work of unlocking true human biotic potential, Jack snarled at his plans and raised her pistol.

Jack’s biotics flared and before Shepard could react, Aresh was thrown to the ground and Jack was pressing her Carnifex against the back of his head

“JACK DON’T” Shepard ordered

“Did you hear this piece of shit? He wants to start this facility back up, I WON’T LET HIM” she barked back at him

“He’s clearly delusional, he has no actual way to restart this facility, we are going to blow the building up remember? Just let him go, he’s trapped in the past, if you kill him it’s like those Cerberus bastards who ran this place win, this is your chance to let go Jack” he pleaded

“FUCKING GO” she yelled at Aresh and she threw her Carnifex to the ground “Give me a few minutes Shepard this room was my whole childhood” she said quietly

Shepard followed Jack around the small tour of her “room” he listened patiently as she showed him the desk she described as her best friend and that she would often cry underneath it. He wasn’t use to seeing Jack allow herself to be this vulnerable with anyone, it dawned on him how much trust she was showing him and he knew at some point he would tell her all about Mindoir and Akuze, he had never told anyone the truth about what happened there but it was obvious that if anyone would understand, it would be Jack. He knew that there would a be another day to share those stories with her but not here, not now, this was about her and he had every intention to be there for her.

They stepped onto the landing pad outside and it was raining heavily, Jack closed her eyes and stretched out her arms and looked up to the sky and ran her hands over her soaking head. Shepard did his best to not make it obvious that he was staring, he had hoped wiping this place off the map would help lead to a fresh start for Jack and after letting his eyes linger on her for far too long she gave him a small smile and asked "what the fuck are we doin' still standing around here?" The bomb was planted and the tension in the shuttle was palpable, Jack sat directly across from Shepard never breaking eye contact with him and her fingers opening and closing the trigger on the detonator.

_Click_

“We are safely out of blast range of the facility” Joker reported

_Click_

“We got the green light Jack whenever you’re ready” Shepard said still holding her gaze

Jack closed her eyes and pressed the trigger and the she felt the weight of so many years anger, hate, and loneliness fall off her back.

Back on board the Normandy Jack was resting on her cot when she heard the familiar steps of boots coming towards the pit.

“Hey I just wanted to check up on you, I won’t pretend to understand what Pragia was like for you but I know that mission couldn’t have been easy” Shepard said

“Shit like that stays with you and marks you in ways that you never really expect” she said softly

“Did sparing Aresh help?” he asked

“Yeah it did” she paused “Subject Zero would have killed him without hesitation or regret, but Jacqueline Nought...” as she moved her hand across her body “was relieved to let him go, maybe this was the first step in letting go of some of the hate that has consumed me for so many years” she said with some obvious sadness in her voice

“I’m glad I could help Jack” he paused nervous about broaching this any further “and if you need anything you know you can talk to me right?”

Jack slightly nodded her head to say yeah and as Shepard turned away to leave, she grabbed his wrist “thank you John, nobody has ever done anything for me before without expecting something in return…. Just thank you ok" She said with the same smile that graced her face when they walked out of the Teltin facility. That night Jack slept peacefully for the first time in years, no demons from the past haunted her.

Not long after Teltin the Illusive Man gave them a lead on a disabled Collector ship, the plan was to board it and get all the intel they could. Shepard hated this, the whole thing smelled like a trap to him, as he stood on the bridge staring at the disabled ship, he couldn’t help but shake the similar feeling he got when his team landed on Akuze and he knew how that turned out. His brain went into overdrive trying to figure out how the turians disabled it but he stuffed all his doubts aside because one thing was true, this was an incredible opportunity and trap or not they had to take it. Miranda insisted on coming and he wasn’t in the mood to argue, it also made his other choice much easier, if he was forced to bring the Cerberus operative he wanted Jack there too watching his back and she agreed without hesitation.

“It was a fucking trap, of course it was” Jack muttered to herself as they ran to the shuttle with the data. As soon as they got off the collector ship and Miranda and Jack had no other enemies to preoccupy them, they turned their anger on eachother

“YOU FUCKING CERBERUS WHORE I KNEW YOU’D BETRAY US, I KNEW YOU AND YOUR PUPPETMASTER WOULD PULL SOME SHIT LIKE THIS, WHEN I’M DONE WITH YOU THE ONLY THING LEFT OF YOU WILL BE A SMEAR ON THE WALL” Jack screamed as Shepard tried to grab ahold of her to stop her

“The Illusive Man had to have reasons to send us in anyway, or it’s even possible that it might have been a genuine mistake, maybe he was simply that eager to get this data, all i know is he deemed it was worth the risk, he wouldn’t betray us, especially not me” Miranda said still trying to maintain her cool confidence

Shepard had heard enough “seriously Miranda after going in there and hearing EDI’s report you can’t believe that, you are far too intelligent to be that ignorant, not to mention between all the other rogue operations we’ve encountered I’ve decided there’s only two real possibilities, one Cerberus is the evil and disgusting organization that Jack and I believe it to be, or the Illusive man, who never seems to know anything about his own operations is the galaxies most oblivious man running the galaxies most incompetent black ops organization, which do you think is true?” he paused taking one last look at Miranda still seated in the shuttle “WAKE UP MIRANDA” he shouted as he stormed out of the shuttle towards the elevator.

After the display by Shepard, Jack simply grinned at Miranda and followed Shepard to the elevator, it surprised her how after Shepard put her in her place she had lost the urge to kill her, somehow watching her get taken down a peg was more satisfying. They rode the elevator together and Jack noticed he was still simmering with anger so she didn’t say anything even though after that display she was incredibly turned on by him right now, when they hit the engineering deck she got off and Shepard continued on to his cabin.

Later on, when Shepard stopped by the pit as he did nearly every day now, Jack was uncertain, she knew she was feeling something for him, she hated it, it confused her, it scared her. They fought well together on missions they watched eachother’s backs in battle and on more than one occasion they saved eachother’s lives with a last minute barrier. “How the fuck did he weasel into my head like this” she asked herself, she was attracted to him there was no denying that but she began to question was it something more than that? No, she decided that it was just pent-up hormones and sexual frustration, she hadn’t gotten laid once while onboard the Normandy and Shepard was by far the best choice on the ship, she would make her move tonight.

Shepard paced in his cabin, a thousand thoughts racing through his head most of them revolved around creative ways he could kill the Illusive Man, but part of his mind was grappling with his growing interest in Jack. He would be lying to himself if he tried to say it was still about helping one his crew, he wanted her, he knew it. Jack oozed sex appeal, she was dangerous and unpredictable, she would no doubt be trouble for him and it excited him, Shepard couldn’t think of a moment in his life where any woman had this much of an effect on him. He stopped thinking about it for the moment, he figured he should head down to the pit and check on her, Cerberus did betray us today just like she had been saying they would. Shepard shrugged his shoulders, time to go get the world’s biggest "I told you so dumbass!” he said to himself.

Jack heard his approaching footsteps and hopped up from her cot, she walked up to him and got so close she was nearly pressing her body against his “I was wondering when you’d make your way down here tonight” she said with a seductive lilt to her voice “Come here” and she pressed her lips against his, it was forceful at first her mouth and tongue demanding entrance to his mouth. After his initial shock he returned the kiss and ran his hands over her ass and back. Jack finally broke the kiss and said “been waiting too long for this, I see how you look at me Shepard, if this is what you wanted you should have said something sooner” she said but the seductive tone was now gone. Shepard stared back at her eyes and they had gone from seductive to predatory almost like she was sizing him up, in fact he realized this stare was not that different than the one she gave him when they first crossed paths on the prison ship.

Shepard was glad he noticed it before things went any further with Jack, he was always a perceptive man and judging by the look in Jack’s eyes he was positive that she was testing him. He was determined not to fail, of course he wanted to fuck Jack, anyone with a pulse would be tempted but he wanted more, he knew that now “Wait! Jack stop” he finally said as she had one hand on his crotch and her other hand taking off his belt

“Wait for what?” she scoffed with a look of annoyance growing on her face “what? After Cerberus put you back together your cock doesn’t work right anymore or something?”

Shepard knew Jack’s eyes were scanning him, and she was just as perceptive as he was and any attempt to lie to her here would be futile and counter-productive, she would have picked up on it instantly. “I want you Jack… badly” he let out a little groan as he said that last word “but I don’t want you just for sex, I want you all of you, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful, I want to be with you” he announced figuring total honesty was going to be the best policy here.

“What like some bullshit love affair?” she nearly laughed at him “that will end one of two ways, after about a week or so, me and you will be trying to kill eachother, or you’ll mess around behind my back and then I’ll have to cut your balls off” she stated matter of factly

“Well I already died once so I’m technically undead already so do your worst on that front and if I had woman like you there is no chance I’d mess around behind your back” he said confidently “you’re a little scared I get it, but I think you want to me too and it scares the shit out of you”

“Just go Shepard, Fucking leave me alone for a while, I need to think, I mean, what you want I'm not sure I can give you, I just… JUST GO!” she demanded

Shepard kneeled down so they were face to face and he placed one hand on her jawline a rubbed a thumb across her cheek and he was happy when she didn’t pull away “Alright take as much time as you need Jack, I’m not going anywhere” he said softly and went back to his quarters

Shepard smirked, he was right, she was testing him, she would have fucked him but he would have failed the test, he would have been like every other guy in her life before but by stopping her and wanting more from her than just casual sex he was sure he made the right decision.

The Normandy was on its way to Tuchanka, apparently Grunt was going through the equivalent of krogan puberty and there was some right of passage he had to perform on the planet, this was a bonus since it allowed Shepard to see his long lost friend and battle-brother Wrex. Shepard had been giving Jack the space she requested but he had to admit spending time away from her was getting more difficult with each passing day. He asked for her to come along on this mission since he was fairly certain this rite was simply going to be killing a lot of dangerous creatures on Tuchanka, he figured this is the kind of mission Jack loves and would be a completely legitimate way to spend some time with her.

Jack watched as a large krogan rose from what she believed to be a “throne” and delivered a headbutt to Shepard, she wandered a bit while the two of them talked, she came across a stray varren and started feeding it a little food as her mind wrestled with all the feelings she was having for Shepard, “fuck him for wanting more from me, he could have just fucked me and been done with it, damn him!” she thought to herself as she played with the varren. She knew he was only going to give her space for so long, she was eventually going to have to figure out what she wanted.

The rite was pretty much what Shepard was expecting, several waves of varren and klixen, against normal foes these would prove quite deadly but for Shepard, Jack, and a genetically perfect krogan they made short work of everything. Grunt was reveling in the battle it seemed to be exactly what he needed and Shepard was even more pleased to see that Jack was hollering, throwing around shockwaves and loving every minute of it as well, then it all went to shit.

The silence, the absolute dead fucking silence, that should have been the first sign for Shepard that something was terribly wrong, then the ground began to rumble frequently and the tremors were getting stronger, he knew what it was a damn thresher maw and it was coming closer. As the giant worm shot out of the ground Shepard froze momentarily as his mind snapped back to Akuze, Grunt laughed and charged towards the worm firing off rounds and Jack shoved him in the shoulder and said “come on Shepard pull your shit together we need you! This worm is no fucking joke.” His mind snapped back to reality at Jack’s words “you’re right you hit left side with some shockwaves, I can see Grunt is already charging up the middle and I’ll go to the right with my grenade launcher, and fight around the pillars whenever you can, their acid will tear right through your armor” he ordered.

The fight was intense and Grunt stood over the body of the large worm growling in victory drenched in blood, Shepard sat upright against a pillar and Jack was sitting next to him. Jack looked him over, she saw the wide eyes, trembling hands, and heavy uneven breathing, she realized Shepard was having what looked like a panic attack, it shocked her because nothing ever rattled him, he was always the dependable rock that the whole crew relied on, but in this moment he just looked broken and Jack’s mind raced as she tried to think of some way to help him. She had no clue what to do, nobody had ever comforted her before but Shepard had seen her in rough shape on more than one occasion and he never flinched or walked away so she’d be damned if she was going to do any less for him.

Jack grabbed his right hand and pulled the armored glove off and grabbed his chin, and in a strong but comforting voice demanded “Shepard look at me, look at my eyes… SHEPARD” she yelled again and his wide eyes finally darted over to her

“Good, here” she took has hand and placed it on her chest “you feel my heartbeat?” he nodded his head yes

“Good, you feel my breaths in and out?” he nodded his head yes again and started to turn his head away

“NO! Look at me! Look in my eyes John!” she ordered “ok good now focus on my breathing and try to match it, in and out, in and out, in and out, good you’re going to be ok John, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere” she said in her most comforting voice.

Wrex congratulated them on their completion of the rite with Jack and Shepard being the first humans to ever complete it, he even went so far to make Shepard the first human member of Clan Urdnot. Having regained his normal composure he thanked his friend and the three of them made their way back to the shuttle, Shepard threw his arm around Jack and spoke quietly so no one else could hear “thank you for that back there, and please don’t tell anybody about how I reacted to the thresher maw” he asked and Jack sensed the deep shame in his voice

“You don’t have to thank me, you would have done the same for me and besides you’re human John, freakouts happen and you know even if the crew found out they wouldn’t think any less of you but don’t worry I won't say shit” she smiled and wrapped her arm around him

About a week had passed and they were about to make the jump through the Omega 4 Relay for the final mission. Jack was growing restless, she was running out of time, she already made a decision, she wanted him, she wanted everything, even all the romantic shit she said she didn’t want, and she hated herself for it. Part of her was screaming at herself to run, to get away now while she still could and not give him the chance to hurt her, the other part of her shouted back that he would never hurt her. “Goddamnit” she cursed and made her way to the elevator she decided to tell him everything, “fuck it, we might all be dead by this time next week, and no matter how hopeless and stupid it sounds maybe just for once things will work out for me, maybe I wont get fucked over, maybe John is different…” she paused staring at the elevator “no he is different, I’m sure of it” as she pressed the call button on the elevator.

As soon as the elevator doors opened Grunt stepped out and spoke proudly “Thanks to you and my battlemaster’s assistance I was made a part of Clan Urdnot, both of you fought ferociously in the rite, far more capable than I thought humans could”

“Piss off Grunt” Jack scowled as she tried to move past him, truthfully she liked Grunt but she just worked up the courage to tell Shepard everything and she didn’t want to get distracted

“Heh Heh, there is so much fire in you human, Shepard was wise to choose you for his mate” the krogan smirked “ not to mention since Shepard is already Clan Urdnot and you also completed the rite as his mate, you are Clan Urdnot as well!” he laughed

“The fuck do you mean chose me for his mate!” as she shoved Grunt

“I apologize I am still unaware of the specifics of human mating Okeer's imprinting on this subject was limited, I did not know that for humans apparently the females choose the mate, allow me to correct myself, you were wise to choose him for your mate, you are both fierce warriors and worthy of eachother” he grinned again

“What the fuck makes you say he’s my mate?” she asked angrily

The krogan sniffed the air “Simple, his pheromones are all over you and your pheromones are all over him”

“Get the fuck out of my way” Jack said as she slammed the deck one button and she heard a final “Heh Heh” from Grunt as the doors shut

As Jack leaned against the wall of the impossibly slowing moving elevator a prevailing thought dominated her brain

Shepard was pacing in his cabin, having spent the last three hours figuring out how to explain to Jack the he loved her. “I mean what’s the worst that can happen? She could laugh at that, or she might get pissed and slap my ass with a warp field against the bulkhead.” He thought to himself. “Fuck it, this is nuts we’re hitting the Collector homeworld soon I can tell her how I feel, that’s it I’m gonna do it, no being a coward about it, no regrets.” As Shepard stormed towards the elevator to make his way down to see the Jack the doors opened and she was standing there “Shepard I...” she began to say. Jack moved quickly into Shepard’s welcoming embrace he saw the tears beginning to well up in her eyes causing her makeup to run, their lips met in a kiss containing years of suppressed emotions, Shepard returned the kiss filling it with all the love he had for her.

_That night there were no more questions, no more words at all, their bodies said all the things they were dying to say to eachother. They would survive the suicide mission, they both finally had something worth living for_

**Author's Note:**

> any comments are welcome


End file.
